After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize