I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
