In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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