Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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