So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
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battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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