Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
