Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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