As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Just cropdusted the office
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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