Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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