OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
