I'm going to jail i love you
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
