Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
