TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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