batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
