i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
