Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
A bitchslap is in order.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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