Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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