Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
