Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
