yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
