paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
