Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize