I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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