end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
