Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
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By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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