I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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