absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
