He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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