You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
