Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
