i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize