I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
