why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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