Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
