This girl is more easily done than said...
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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