Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
