I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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