Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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