I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
