I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The uberlube is also flammable
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I touched a dick in church today
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
