what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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