you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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