yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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