just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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