Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
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