It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
