Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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