im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
