Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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