just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
