Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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