Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
