I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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