mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
