I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
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I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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