hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
