does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
