is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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