May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
